Day 2: Three Fears....

Day 2: Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

Before I start I wish could make this blog short by simply writing that I always remember passage from Isaiah 41:9-11 and that my life was peachy keen because of it but I am human and sometimes forget.
This is a tough one for me. Not to think of what things I am afraid of but to actually admit that I am frightful of things in this world. I know I am not really afraid of typical things such as snakes, spiders, creepers, heights, loud noises, etc. I suppose a few things I fear are....

1. Disappointing/Letting People Down:
This is something I have had to work on since I know no matter how hard I try I can't please everyone. I have found this to be especially true being a teacher and basketball referee. I am not sure when this became a fear, I just know I have always aimed to make people happy and when I can't always do something up to their standards it frustrates me. When, even after doing my very best, I can't succeed.

2. The Unknown:
This is a pretty cliche thing to fear but it is something that indeeds frightens me! I recently read Scaredy Squirrel, a very animated children's book that pertains to this similar topic. Not knowing what the future holds down to the minute or not having a "plan", totally goes against my love for writing out to-do lists and living by a structured routine. I am experiencing this currently, as I have no clue where God wants me to go next year. Do I stay in New England? Do I start teaching in a public school? Do I go back to school to start on a masters degree? Do I go back into the mission field overseas somewhere? What I have learned along the way in overcoming this fear is to keep walking forward in prayer and if God is standing behind those doors they will open in his perfect timing. In the meantime being able to trust God 100% not just 95% with my life crucially important.

3. Not Fearing the Lord:
Yes a fear about not fearing. If there is one thing in this world I wish I was more afraid of it would be fearing God. Not in the "ahh scary monster" type of way but in the way that is described in Proverbs 8:13 "To fear the LORD is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech." Here is an interesting article I came across that offers more substance about this fear.
If only I could continuously fear God enough to have a clear vision about the world and the purpose for my life in it. If I could just put all the petty things aside that hinder my walk with God, things that make me less fearful of him then how much easier and more content my life would be? I don't want comfort and easiness to settle in that causes me to abandon this crucial fear.

There you go, a VERY in-a-nutshell-version of my fears!

Day 1: 20 Random Facts!

In no particular order of randomness….
*1. I recently picked up playing the violin again after a longgggg hiatus from the lovely instrument. Its been fun to see how much I remember from memory and learning new things to play as well!
1. I am a twin to a sister whom I beat out of the womb by 30 seconds! I guess I started my racing career early in life.
2. I am ambidextrous…except for writing.
3. I have a beta fish named Napoleon who has defied death several times in the 9 months that I have owned him. Living at camp all summer, living at school with curious teenagers, and flying out of his bowl during a car ride. Was out of his water for at least 10 minutes!
4. I was the fastest female runner from Tennessee at the 2007 Boston Marathon.
5. When I was a kid I had a hamster named Sonic. Named after my favorite cartoon character when I was younger!
6. I qualified for my schools Geography bee in the 6th grade after winning my classroom bee by correctly knowing the question with the answer being “plateau”. I got creamed early on in the Bee by College Jeopardy runner up, Hans Von Walter. No surprise there!
7. I have fainted about 3 three times in my life that I can recall. The 1st time being when I got a bike for Christmas (was really excited I guess), 2nd time being when a bunk bed pin got smashed on my hand while working in the boys dorm, 3rd being after I donated blood at Gimbie Hospital in Ethiopia after being on a hot bus all day. They sat me up WAY too fast and I was not hydrated at all so it took forever…drinking apple soda made it worse!
8. I participated in the Great Ethiopian run in 2008 while I was a SM. Was the most amazing running event I have ever been a part of! A cultural experience never to be forgotten!
9. I have worked at various summer camps going on 9 summers now and was a camper for many summers as a kid. I never got home sick I got camp sick. Camp ministry is something I cherish dearly!
10. I get dizzy when doing forward rolls or any kind of fast spinning action. I am not a fan of roller coasters anymore either :-/ It has gotten worse the last few years. I blame it on my chronic ear infections I had growing up. My middle ear has gone soft!
11. I never received a speeding ticket while living in Collegedale, TN. Only three very gracious warnings!
12. I currently drive a luxury motor vehicle in the form of a 1994 Buick La sabre named Forrest. The story of how I got this car is pretty amazing. Forrest just rolled over the 212,000 mile mark and is still going strong!
13. I placed 4th place in the Florida state track meet for the mile run my 8th and 9th grade year. Looking back I wish I would of known about my ability for longer distance running..running the mile was painful!
14. I am currently in my first year of teaching at Central Vermont Academy. My time in Vermont has been an amazing journey and will be written about in more detail in the next 30 days.
15. I “moon light” after school teaching gymnastics, swimming lessons, reffing basketball, and umpiring softball. I don’t consider these side jobs work though because I have so much fun doing it!
16. My favorite color is green. Any shade of green. It is such a peaceful color that reminds me of my favorite environment to be in and that is outside in nature, preferably the woods. I love green!
17. I am currently working on hiking all 46 ADK high peaks, a wonderful mountain chain in upstate NY. I have bagged 19 peaks so far and hope to get more soon!
18. I have a deep desire to be a long term missionary overseas at some point in my life. My SM experience in Ethiopia helped mold and impress my mission mindedness and left me with the desire to “go back” which I did last March. I know that I am in the mission field now but I look forward to the day when God calls me out again in his name! The mission field is such a life changing place to be!
19. I want to run a marathon on all 7 continents someday! I also want to run a 100 mile ultra or 24 hour run and perhaps even do an Ironman if time and money are available someday.
20. I was a race director for a few 5ks and a kids triathlon during my years at Southern. I hope I can use those skills I learned for the rest of my career. It made me really appreciate the work RD's go through to put on a good race!

Bonus**
Beautiful sunsets/sunrises are one of my most favorite things! I saw countless gorgeous sunsets while in Ethiopia but one that will always stick out in my mind is when we went camping out on a ridge in a village. We were able to see sunset on one side and sunrise on the other. It was stunning and pictures don’t do it justice!

30 Day Challenge!

I saw this idea yesterday on a couple of friends' blogs and was inspired to try it! I custom built my own challenge by combining topics from 3 different lists of writing topics that I will write about over the next 30 or so days. I think it will be a challenge to write about certain topics that I may of not necessarily put much thought into until now.I have a feeling I will know myself a little better by the end of it all. Maybe you will know me better too.I may not personally know all my readers out there but I will do my best to be as honest as possible with the topics I choose to write about and pretend I am writing for myself or just with a close friend! Here I go!

*This master list of topics will most likely change if I feel inspired.*

The lists:
1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Your views on religion.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16-year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
11. Your favorite movie and why?
12. Your earliest memory.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. How important you think education is.
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. How have you changed in the last 2 years?
23. Your views on mainstream music.
24. Something that you miss.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misunderstand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

What I really do....

Adventures in Gymnastics Class Part 158:
Today during warm up AKA tell each other about our life stories time I was sharing with my girls how I "teach" art & that we colored easter eggs today.
"You teach art class Miss Jessica?!?!"
"Yes and PE and science too! I am a teacher!"
"No Way!"
"Ok so if I don't teach what do I do all day?"
.............
"I think you watch football all day!"

If they only knew :-)

BTW here are the easter eggs my class made. I think they turned out pretty awesome! Thank You Pinterest and Martha Stewart for the ideas!

Want to be Happy?

I came across this article and thought the words were very profound. While reading these wise but worldy words I couldn't help but notice that something critically important was missing from this master list of ways to be happy. That being the mention of including God in your life as the most important way to be truly happy. Just imagine if the phrase "With God's Guidance" or something to that extent was inserted at the beginning of each the 15 ideas.

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

WITH GODS GUIDANCE......

1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?


2. Give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk. Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining. Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change. Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels. Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only fear we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses. Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past. I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment. This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations. Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

Spring Is In The Air

This past weekend was filled with two of my favorite things! Hiking and running! Although the unbelievable warm weather that has graced Vermont the last 2 weeks decided to bow out this weekend I still enjoyed climbing a new mountain and running in the cold rain! Through the clouds it was awesome to see the reddish, greenish tint on the trees. Can't wait for the buds to open in all their glory and for spring to truly arrive!

Hiked up Stowe Pinnacle with Temple. It was a short but steep mountain with awesome views!



Fun place to run, part trails, part road. Berlin Pond! Reminds me of the ADK's.

Riding in the wind!

My lower back has a faint dash of soreness this morning but all for good reason. Over the weekend I ventured out to Union Springs Academy where Central Vermont Academy was participating in the Atlantic Union Basketball tournament. I went along to run the stats table and to referee.
I had some downtime in one afternoon so Christina, the assistant girls dean and a former co-counselor at Camp Cherokee suggested we go horse back riding in the mowed down corn fields surrounding the school. We headed down to the old rustic barn across the street to saddle up two of my favorite camp steeds, Princess and Queenie! After a warm up walk we were off! It has been a long while since I have run long stretch on horse back thus the reason for sore muscles! The exhilarating feeling of running free and fast on such a powerfully strong creature was one I wish I could experience more often. The sound of galloping hooves pounding through the muddy ground shooting up globs of mud was peaceful in a way.
Like trail running I discovered that riding outside the arena is far more satisfactory then being confined to a small space. During the ride I was imagining how fun it will be in heaven to ride horses through vast fields. I look forward to being able to go even faster, not being sore afterwards, and seeing scenery more beautiful then I can imagine. Then after riding my horse maybe I will take a lion or tiger for a spin too!